How to Have Tough Conversations With Employees

I once had a direct report who was driven by deadlines. She was often rude, demanding and disrespectful in meeting those deadlines -- a great example of a strength that becomes a barrier to success. No one wanted her on a project, so we had a tough conversation about her strengths and opportunities for growth, and set a goal for her to focus on relationships and project deadlines simultaneously.She ended up apologizing to those who had been offended and explained her new approach to managing projects. It took several months and several projects before she was able to successfully manage relationships while meeting project deadlines, but it was a huge turning point in her career. She gained the ability to get along with others and as others came to enjoy working with her on projects, she was promoted to managing larger, more complex projects. That tough conversation started her down a path of making behavioral changes, which led to career growth and development.Tough conversations crop up all the time in the workplace. They typically revolve around performance and relationship issues, and if managers don’t address those issues with employees, they can affect productivity, performance and even the bottom line. Managers and leaders need to learn how to have tough conversations -- and how to have them effectively.Chances are, there are difficult conversations you need to have. Here are some tips to help you make them both productive and respectful for everyone involved.

Observe Employees Directly

Leaders often don’t spend enough time observing their staff in action, which means they end up hearing about problems from others. By verifying the problem behavior yourself, your feedback will be more credible, valuable and effective.

Let the Other Person Know It’s Coming

Try not to spring difficult conservations on people. If you do, they’ll likely become defensive and won’t hear what you have to say. It’s better if they know what you want to talk to them about before you sit down for the conversation. This allows them to come prepared.When employees come prepared for tough conversations, they’ll be more likely to engage in a dialogue and be open to feedback. Even a short notification -- say 30 minutes, if you need to talk about a serious mistake that just happened -- can give people time to cool down and review their decisions.

Establish a Goal

Before you sit down to talk, know what you want the outcome of the discussion to be. You may want your employee to work harder, build better relationship or slow down to avoid errors. Once you’ve established a goal, think about how best to communicate that goal to your employee by using motivational, forward-looking language.

Set Everyone Up for Success

It’s important to show concern for the employee’s success. Be clear about your expectations and what needs to change. Commit to providing regular feedback -- both positive and constructive -- on your employee’s progress to keep them moving forward.

Establish a Culture of Feedback

When a company regularly conducts performance reviews, it can make it easier to have tough conversations about performance. A meaningful evaluation process establishes goals and includes regular feedback -- both positive and constructive.

Avoid These Common Mistakes

It can be easy to make these errors when you’re having a tough conversation, but avoiding them will help make your conversation as productive and respectful as possible.

• Letting the conversation become emotional. It’s hard to have these kinds of conversations when you or the employee you’re talking to is emotional. Look for ways to take emotion out of the interaction by looking objectively at how the employee’s goals align with your team’s goals and the company’s.

• Offering inconsistent feedback. Be clear about what you need from your employee and keep your feedback consistent over time. Feedback that changes from week to week is frustrating and won’t help your employee improve.

• Being indiscrete. Finally, be discreet about difficult conversations. Involve others only if it’s necessary, such as with a legal issue.

Need help establishing a culture of development? Contact us; we can help.Success Labs is a leadership development and management consulting firm in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. For more than 25 years, our expert team of consultants has worked with hundreds of companies to explore their business potential and improve their company and cultural performance. Contact us to get proactive about your people strategy.