Leadership Roundtable: Learning to Deal with Failure

Dealing with failure is never easy, but it can feel especially devastating if you’re new to a leadership role. It’s something you’ll have to get used to, however; leaders are expected to help teams overcome setbacks as well as look for lessons in their own shortcomings. Fortunately, you can strengthen your resilience and find ways to learn from failure over time. We talked to some leadership experts for their tips on how to deal with failure.

Gloria West, senior consultant at Success Labs

Learning to deal with failure requires an acknowledgement that the things you are trying to accomplish might not be successful, and that stretching yourself and your team to achieve higher or better results will mean that some goals might not be met. It’s a place many new leaders find unfamiliar and uncomfortable, because their perspective often is one of “failure is not an option.” So when failure inevitably does occur, it can be crushing. They may resort to playing it safe — instead of taking risks and challenging themselves and their people — to avoid failing.Leaders can help employees deal with failure by taking a “what can we learn from this” approach. Do a “lessons learned” review not just when things fail, but also when things go well. Break down every project or initiative — recognize results and the effort and work that went into achieving them. And recognize that effort and work also went into things that ultimately failed. Discuss what was done well and what worked, and discuss what could have been done better this time or be done differently the next time. A positive approach makes it easier for people to talk about failure, to step up and own their role in it, and to identify and commit to what steps they will take in the future.

Angela Copeland, career coach at Copeland Coaching

For many people, failure can feel permanent. It can feel like it reflects who they are or a sign of some larger problem. It can also cause embarrassment or shame if they feel like others will judge them.It's better to think of failure as an opportunity to learn and grow. When I advise clients who are interviewing for a new job, I recommend that they think of each job interview as practice for the next one. You will not land every job you interview for, but you can become a little better each time.Thomas Edison is someone we all respect for his accomplishments. He once said "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."Honestly, I've faced failure for my entire life. I had the good fortune of a challenging childhood. It left me with a high level of "grit," so I don't give up easily. Each time I fail, I try again in some different way. This has really been the key to my long-term success.

Roy Cohen, career coach and author of “The Wall Street Professional's Survival Guide”

As a society, we’re socialized to see winning as the goal. So if you fail it’s viewed as bad, and no one wants to be seen as bad. We sometimes see ourselves as being fearless and entitled to be in a leadership role, which means that we and others may perceive our failures as a sign of weakness and being a bad leader.As a leader, take time to examine the experience of failure. Don’t hide it or ignore it or sweep it under the rug — think about it. Is what happened a failure of character, or a failure of a process? If it’s a process, can you learn something from it so that everyone can benefit? It’s essentially like having an early-warning system that forces you to reflect on what went wrong.Along those lines, as a leader, establish a culture that rewards effort. That way you’re not rewarding laziness or greed and the failure that often occurs as a byproduct of that. Instead you’re rewarding the process and the execution and effort that you engage in. If there’s some learning, you’ll be able to succeed even though there was a breakdown.Looking for ways to improve your presentation skills or other leadership skills? Contact us to learn about our leadership development and coaching offerings.Success Labs is a leadership development and management consulting firm in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. For more than 25 years, our expert team of consultants has worked with hundreds of companies to explore their business potential and improve their company and cultural performance. Contact us to get proactive about your people strategy.